Executive Dysfunction - What is it and how do I manage it?
By Lindsay Ryan, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
One of the traits of ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) is executive dysfunction. But what does executive dysfunction mean?
The umbrella concept is that executive dysfunction makes it more complicated for people with ADHD to manage their behaviour, thoughts, and emotions. Colloquially, through social media, a common understanding of how this shows up is that some people have trouble with care tasks, such as cooking and cleaning, keeping up with fitness or other wellness activities, and maintaining a schedule.
Executive Dysfunction is a complicated phenomenon that we are learning more about every day. Some professionals characterize executive dysfunction as a symptom of brain differences. You can read about executive dysfunction here. But at everwell, we try not to use the word symptom when we talk about ADHD traits, we prefer to think in terms of whether a trait is helpful or unhelpful, comfortable or uncomfortable.
Society puts a lot of pressure on us to meet executive functioning demands. If we have a lot of these demands on us at work, for example, then we may not have the energy left over for this kind of functioning at home. When the dishes have piled up for 3 days and the laundry has sat in the washer overnight, plus maybe there was a conflict at work, or there is tension in a personal relationship, things can feel very overwhelming and frustrating. Some people may even turn their frustrations inward and start to blame themselves. It’s common for people with ADHD to think that they are lazy or forgetful among other unkind thoughts. And you don’t have to have ADHD to struggle with executive functioning. When there are other stressors in our life, executive function can go down for anyone.
What can we do?
Therapy can help challenge stories we have about ourselves and challenge those parts of ourselves that say we aren’t good enough or we aren’t doing enough. In therapy we can foster self-compassion and unearth some of the unhelpful messages we have been taught. Therapists will help reframe ways of thinking that can be harmful and can help to build emotional regulation.
What else can we do?
Knowing that you are experiencing executive dysfunction is step one. About a year ago, I identified my own struggles with executive functioning and how it was showing up in my life. Knowing there was a reason for some of the things I was experiencing or doing helped me to have self-compassion. Instead of calling myself lazy, I learned how to identify when I was experiencing executive dysfunction. Then once I identified the root cause I could decide how I wanted to proceed.
The following section shares how I handle one of my zones of executive dysfunction – care tasks.
When it comes to care tasks, there is no one size fits all solution. Doing things the way others expect us to is part of the problem. We need to find ways that work for us which sometimes means changing what we expect of ourselves and why. Something that has helped me is to find the novelty in the routine. What does that mean?
One of the things I struggle with the most is cleaning the dishes. It seems like an overwhelming task and when I think of doing them, I see barrier after barrier. Some things that have helped me are:
Purposeful Multitasking: As I am browning my onions for dinner, I am washing up the coffee cups from the morning and the dishes from the night before. Bouncing between watching the stove and doing some dishes keeps my mind alert and my interest piqued. If I have to be in the kitchen to watch the stove, I might as well do something else too.
Add some fun: Sometimes in order to get motivated to do the dishes, I have to distract myself with an activity I find fun. Watching a show or listening to an audiobook has worked for me some of the time.
Beating the clock: Sometimes when I put on the kettle, I will do as many dishes as I can before the kettle is done. I don’t get all of them done, but it gets a small chunk done so that it isn’t as bad later on.
Bargaining with myself: Sometimes the dishes have piled up so much that cooking for myself becomes an impossible task because I would have to clean the kitchen before even starting to cook. Sometimes it helps to bargain with myself in these cases. I have been known to order food in with the caveat that I would do as many dishes as I could before the food arrived.
Just not doing them: Sometimes dishes are the impossible task that I just cannot get to. And that is okay. We all need to take breaks. In the past I would sit on my couch streaming shows all day avoiding the impossible task all the while berating myself for not doing it. Now, I give myself those days to rest because I know rest is productive too.
These are just some examples of the ways I get myself to do this specific care task. Some of the suggestions may or may not work for you. The important thing to remember is, we can find ways to do things in our own way and it is also okay to rest and not do the thing also.
Looking for some support?
If you are struggling with negative self-talk, or if you want help to work through some of the executive dysfunction you may be experiencing, we’re here to help. Our therapists have lived experience and specialized training in neurodiversity-affirming psychotherapy. Simply book a free 30 minute consultation and let’s talk about it.